Telemarketing Fail

May 18, 2011 in My Life, The Funnies by Ane

This is just too funny not to post. (at least it was when I was writing it.)

So today, someone called for my father In Law, who passed away 11 years ago. At first it was a client looking for some old papers, my father in law was a lawyer. I don’t really have any memories of him because he already passed away even before B and I got together. I met him once, I was still in high school then and B had a very bad sprain and was in a cast and my uncle took over his carpooling business. Anyway, I met him one afternoon when my uncle and I went over their house to switch cars with B. He gave me a warm smile as my uncle introduced me as his niece while he called over his shoulder for B.

So about the call. It wasn’t a client of my father in law. It was a telemarketer. Our land line telephone is still under my father in law’s name in the telephone directory, that’s probably where they got our number from. I know, I worked as a telemarketer in a very small company, and I know for a fact that the phonebook is where very small telemarketing companies give their leads. So anyway, allegedly she was calling from Manila. Our caller ID says she was calling from a local number. LOL.

Here’s how the conversation went:

CHAKAI: Hello? Um.. Mommy, it’s for lolo.
ME: What?

ME: Hello?
TELEMARKETER: Hello Ma’am, I am calling for Astoria group of hotels. Can I speak to Mr. Emilio Fallarme?
ME: He passed away almost 11 years ago, what is this call regarding?
TELEMARKETER: Oh. Like I said Ma’am I am calling from Astoria group of hotels, this is a long distance call. We are planning to have an expansion in your location and Mr. Emilio Fallarme was referred to us and we would like to interview him, but since he has passed away already, condolence Ma’am, is it okay if I can interview you instead? Don’t worry we are not going to sell you anything.
ME: Interview for what?
TELEMARKETER: We are going to have an expansion in your location and would like to know where tourists stay and what amenities they would like. We are interviewing all the people in your area…
ME: If you are going to expand your hotel, shouldn’t the people you interview tourists and not locals? I mean, I live here so why would I even bother to go to a hotel? Unless it’s for free. Is it free?
TELEMARKETER: Oh, okay. We are going to have an expansion in your location…
ME: Yes, I heard you. I understand, you are planning an expansion. My point is shouldn’t the people you interview people who come here to vacation and not people who already live here? I have a house here so why would I even want to stay in a hotel? But if you’re offering free accommodations then by all means, let me hear your spiel.
TELEMARKETER: Oh, okay, no. We are expanding in your location.. Umm.. Thanks for your time.
ME: Okay, you’re welcome.

The conversation was of course edited, she was grammatically challenged and had a thick accent. I couldn’t make out where she was from, probably local, I suppose. She obviously had no idea what job she got herself into, I mean if you’re going to work as a telemarketer, you should be able to answer the questions of your lead, otherwise, you’ll fail and you won’t be able to close any deal. She was probably trying to get information details, that’s all, I doubt she was hired to be a real telemarketer, you know, the ones that actually sell you stuff or the ones from collection agencies, she wasn’t aggressive and it seemed like she didn’t understand her spiel or she doesn’t have a clue what the hell she was supposed to do. Also, our last name is pronounced as Falyarme. Not Falarmee. LOL.

I am so amused. I worked as a telemarketer but I was always able to answer the lead’s questions. I guess telemarketers should be able to think fast and not just dial fast.

 

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