WARNING: Crazy person ranting.I don't know how to start. I am feeling angry, deprived and misunderstood and a little bit unappreciated. I know I know, it sounds like I am suffering from a case of PMS. I really don't know exactly why I feel so glum, I just do, and I prefer to blame it on PMS rather than think I am crazy. Although, I think I am and I feel crazy sometimes.
Recently, I feel so annoyed and irritated with my kids. Especially Lucas. Which is weird, because I don't usually feel like that towards him, usually I only feel proud and amused when it involves Lucas, I get annoyed with Chakai, but that's a given, she's a kid, and she talks way too much and she does annoying things. I love them both very much and I feel bad that I feel annoyed and irritated with them lately. I can't help it. I try not to feel that way but I still do. I feel like such a bad person. I am crazy. It doesn't help the fact that Lucas is once again extra clingy because he has been sick, he had a fever yesterday but it seems that he's doing better because he didn't have fever the whole day today, which is good, but it doesn't change the fact that he's needy.
What annoys me the most is how my kids act when B is home. They act differently around him. it's weird. They act all nice and well behaved when it's just us, but when B gets home, it's a different story, they act all demanding and bratty. It. freakin. drives. me. insane. Sometimes, out of frustration I just want to scream because I can't get them to do anything when B is home, that applies especially to Chakai. B lets them get away with almost anything because to him, they are just acting how kids should. Whatever. It still freakin annoys me.
B and I have no problems when it comes to our
sex life. But because I am irritated and annoyed with him too, we haven't done it in a week. Which
is weird. I hate it, but I am not about to give in and be the one to initiate it. I think
B is annoyed with me too because I am annoyed with him and the kids and he has been staying away from me, I guess because he is avoiding a fight, he knows how I tend to lose my temper when I am in a lousy mood. I
guess I can't blame him. I guess he knows I will come to him when I am good and ready.
B is so patient and giving it drives me crazy.
Doesn't he get the fact that maybe I am testing him and that I want him to want come to me? He'd rather leave me alone than push himself on me.
I think I am crazy, I want him to stay away and yet I don't want him to.
Crazy.
I know that my family appreciates me and even though they don't say it, I know they love me.
I know it. But I feel under appreciated and I feel like whatever I do, no matter how much effort I put into doing it,
it'll never be enough. I don't know why I feel that way, but I do. Sometimes I feel so unimportant I feel so bad. I feel pressured to do more and yet too pressured to do anything.
Does that make any sense? I swear it made sense in my head.
Ugh! I hate feeling this way. Feeling crazy and unstable and being in such a lousy mood. I hate this and yet I have no idea how to stop it. I wish there was some kind of switch so I can just stop feeling so damn grouchy and touchy and acting like a crazy person. I swear there must be something freakin wrong with me. I wish I could just figure out why I am feeling this way, other than the fact that I
am might be crazy.
Anyway, I should end it here before I give you guys any more clues to confirm the fact that I am insane. Thank you to
Maria for creating such a wonderful meme, I feel kind of normal after ranting like a crazy person. So go join us in the crazy fun. Visit
Conversations With Moms, grab the button and rant away.
I hope the weekend goes better for me and I hope that all of you have a great weekend.
Notice how there aren't any smileys? That's how glum I feel, no room for any kind of smileys whatsoever.LATM Thanks her First Commenter with linky love
Thank You for gracing me with your presence


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